Response to “Just Because He Breathes”

Q. What’s your response to this story? http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3478971(Please read before reading this post.)

A. A reader forwarded the above article to me asking for my comments. I read the post, watched the 1/2 hour video by the parents Rob and Linda on YouTube, and read the letter the father wrote to his gay son Ryan. However, I have not read the blog http://justbecausehebreathes.com/ in its entirety.

I have never gone through the struggles that Ryan had, nor the pain that the parents endured as they wrestled with their son’s sexuality. I have not walked in their shoes, and am not judging my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. But since someone asked for my opinion, I write with a certain heaviness of heart, knowing my own shortcomings, and the fact that no matter what we do or how we feel, it will be inadequate.

First of all, I want to affirm the unconditional love the parents have for their son. For the first 6 years, from when Ryan told his mom at age 12 that he was gay, to age 18 when he gave up on God, they did everything they could to steer Ryan back. But according to them they acted out of fear. Then, from the time Ryan dropped out of their lives for 18 months, to his subsequent returning home, till his death at age 20 from drug overdose, the parents changed to living by faith. They learned to accept Ryan the way he was, in their words “as God made him to be”. They changed from fighting or resisting Ryan’s condition, to accommodating and embracing Ryan’s lifestyle, “just so long as he breathes”. I wish I could have the love they have for their son. They have done more than many parents I know, ourselves included. But as much as I see them to be strong evangelical Christians and loving parents, I do not share their position on compromising God’s holiness, as they would celebrate if Ryan were to be wedded in a same-sex marriage.

There has always been a dynamic tension between God’s love and His righteousness and holiness. As love God forgives, accepts and receives. But God is also holy and righteous, and cannot tolerate sin. He does not leave the guilty unpunished; otherwise He would not be just. When we over-emphasize His righteousness at the expense of His love, we are left with a cold, stern judge. However, when we stress His love at the expense of His righteousness, we end up with a diluted “love wins” theology and a God who is less than God because He accommodates sin. And my understanding of Scripture is that homosexual activity is sin, which God abhors.

We do not have a case of our Lord dealing with homosexuals in the gospels, but there is a case of a woman caught in adultery. When the scribes and the Pharisees brought her to Jesus, He told her “neither do I condemn you“. But He did not stop there, He continued “Go now and leave your life of sin.”(Jn 8:11) He forgave her but confronted her sin, commanding her to leave her life of sin behind. What would Jesus do in Ryan’s case? I think He would have done something similar. He would not condemn him; He would love him; but He would also require that he leave his lifestyle behind. Some would find this position to be harsh and easy to say, but impossible for a gay person to deny his inward desire. But Heb 12:4 said “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” It’s a decision each person have to make for himself.

Homosexuality 1

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We attended a friend’s son’s wedding a few weeks ago. At our age, we usually meet up with our friends from university days on two types of occasions – the “red”, when our friends’ children get married, and the “white”, when their parents pass away. This particular one was red, so we all dressed up to attend the civil ceremony and banquet.

We caught up with one particular friend who happened to be one of our bridesmaids nearly 40 years ago. We haven’t seen her since her husband, another of our classmates, passed away several years ago, so we were eager to find out what she had been up to. She is a social worker by training and profession, and actively involved in fighting for labor rights, particularly those of under-privileged workers. Both she and her husband were very nice people, very down-to-earth, who did a lot of volunteer work fighting for justice and equality, so we were very happy to hear that their daughter got married four years ago. But then our friend caught us by surprise by adding the words “to a girl”! For a moment we were lost for words, as we wondered what happened to the sweet teenager we last saw over a dozen years ago.

How would you have responded? We had mixed feelings. On the one hand, God’s word is uniformly against homosexual behavior:
* Lev 18:22 Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
* Lev 20:13 If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
* Rom 1:26-27 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
* 1 Co 6:9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
* 1 Tim 1:9-10 … that law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for the sexually immoral, for homosexuals, for slave-traders, for liars, for perjurers, and for any other thing contrary to the sound doctrine.
* 2 Pet 2:6-7 if He condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; and if He rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men
* Jude 1:7 In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

Homosexuality is described as detestable, shameful, unnatural, indecent, a perversion, wicked, lawless, insubordinate, ungodly, a sin, unholy, profane, and filthy. I have read pro-gay interpretations of these passages as denouncing only violent same-gender sex and not relations with mutual consent, but found their exegesis wanting. The Bible clearly condemns same-sex relationships.

(To be continued)